I tried to think of some other meaning to the personalized Virginia license plate that an Annandale reader spotted on a Toyota SUV on Columbia Pike: R88888P.
“How on earth did this get issued?” she asked me. “If this plate has five ‘8s’ are there plates out there with four ‘8s’ or three? Did they say this out loud when it was approved?”
Sure, it sounds like "Rape" — "Raaaaape," even — but is that what it's supposed to mean? Maybe those 8s are sideways infinity signs? Maybe Ronnie loves Patty forever?
I asked My Lovely Wife, whose initials happen to be “RP,” what she thought. “They shouldn’t be allowed to have that license plate,” she said. “Even if it doesn’t mean ‘rape,’ that’s what it says.”
Yeah. I think she’s right.
My Annandale reader said she called the Virginia Department of Motor Vehicles to complain and was told to put her objections in writing and mail them to Richmond. Brandi Brubaker, a DMV spokeswoman, told me what will happen next.
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“We have a committee of employees that will sit down and talk about the message on the plates and see if a reasonable person could consider them objectionable,” she said.
If the committee decides that “R88888P” is objectionable, the vehicle owner will be sent a letter informing him or her of the decision.
Brandi said nearly 20 percent of the plates the DMV issues are either special plates — commemorating a college, cause or pastime, for example — or personalized plates. A computer program automatically torpedos requests that are obviously obscene or profane.
“It also makes sure it’s not objectionable when it’s spelled backwards,” she said.
But humans are endlessly creative — and sneaky. I played around with the DMV’s online personalized plate creator. About some naughty permutations, it said: “Personalized message not available. Please try another message.” About others, it said: “Congratulations. The message you requested is available.”
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Really? It accepted ... . Well, I can't print it here.
Brandi said that even if the computer clears it, at least one human sees each plate request. Still, humans are fallible. Plus, who can possibly keep track of every sexual practice, racial slur and insult?
Brandi said motorists whose plates have been called into question can explain why they don’t think the message violates Virginia’s guidelines.
“One message might mean something to someone, but to someone else, it means something completely different,” she said. “That’s why we have a diverse panel of employees to see what’s reasonable.”
Brandi said she expects the committee will meet later this week to ponder “R88888P.”
“We really rely on the feedback of our customers when they’re driving on the road,” she said.
Demolition derby?
As the finishing touches were being put on the J. Edgar Hoover Building in 1975, The Washington Post's architecture critic, Wolf Von Eckardt, described it this way: "If the last and most sickly arrogant of the Roman emperors had dreamed of modern architecture, they would have dreamed of the new FBI headquarters."
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The building, Von Eckardt added, "would make a perfect stage set for a dramatization of George Orwell's '1984.'"
In other words, not a fan.
Neither is the District's Ron Lefrancois, who thinks the building is a "monstrosity." But with the FBI eventually moving out and its Pennsylvania HQ to be demolished, Ron had an idea: "Auction off the right to press the button/push the plunger to implode the FBI building."
That’s a great idea. Should it be an auction, with the honor going to the highest bidder? Or should it be a raffle, with thousands of reasonably priced tickets? Either way, it’s a way to make lemonade out of lemons. Or a bit of booty out of Brutalism.
Helping a District school
This month, I announced that Turner Elementary is the District school I hope readers will support with their store loyalty cards. In case you missed it, here's what to do: If you shop at Giant, re-enroll your Giant card at www.giantfood.com/aplus. Scroll to "for customers" and click on "register your card." Put in your 12-digit Giant card number and the first three letters of your last name, then enter the Turner identification number: 08388. If you don't know your Giant card number, call 877-275-2758, option 2.
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If you shop at Harris Teeter, go to www.harristeeter.com, and under Community, click where it says "Together in Education." Then click on "Link to Your School" and "Click to Re-Link VIC Card." Sign in. Then, click on "Add a School" and search for Turner in Washington, D.C. Its number is 3622.
Turner also is signed up with Target’s REDcard program. The school number is 39661.
Twitter: @johnkelly
For previous columns, visit washingtonpost.com/johnkelly.
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